Inspired by this post today.
Mostly I like to have my “stuff” together. And maybe let the world think I’ve got it together too.
I’m learning to let things go. And be okay with it. It’s not easy. There is so much I want to do, so much to learn, so many blogs to read, so many blog posts to share, so many projects to start and finish. I want to be full of the good, creative, and carefree. And sometimes the striving to be all of those things is exhausting. My focus is so much on the would, could and shoulds that they start to overwhelm the dids.
My expectations are too high – and the disappointment in myself becomes overwhelming. Before too long I start allowing myself to believe in the failures. Before too long I just don’t attempt anything because I just know it will fail. I become paralyzed.
Deep in my heart I know the truth. It’s just a matter of uncovering it and then believing it enough to gather the strength to start living it again.
I know that a lot of this is affected by not feeling good and I’ve had a bit of that lately. And work has been insanely demanding and full of conflict. But I think things are starting to look up.
Ultimately – I’m supposed to be enjoying life, right? And I am. Right up until the moment I start realizing I’ve let something slip, haven’t been as creative as I’d like, blah, blah, blah. So I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m going to forgive myself, hope my friends and family forgive me for being a sometimes flake, and be excited about the next fun thing.
We'll resume our normally scheduled programming soon! :)